Right from the minute you fall pregnant, being a mother is all about decisions. From where to give birth, to the debate over controlled crying, parents face hundreds of choices every day.

Often, what path we take reflects our value systems; for example, whether our kids get to watch TV or eat lollies. But sometimes we have to make calls in situations where we have no experience and no idea what to do for best.

Choosing the right child-care, or what advice to take when your baby is sick, can be confusing and stressful, particularly if you are a first-time mum. So how do you trust your own judgement? According to author and mother of two, Lyn McPherson (pictured here with daughter Angelique), the answer is to use your intuition.

Lyn strongly believes that because of the pressures that society puts on parents, mothers, especially, have lost the ability to tap in to their own wisdom when it comes to their children.

‘We are constantly being dictated to by the media, magazines, experts, other mothers, our own mothers and parenting books,’ she points out. I think in our modern lifestyle we have a lot of things back to front. We undermine mothering, so people end up feeling that they can’t get anything right.’

Lyn’s desire to help mums connect with their own wisdom came out of her own experience as a new mother. She admits that she needed to learn to trust her intuition and her book, Intuitive Mothering, was born out of her insecurities.

‘When I first became a mother I had an idealistic perception of what it was all about,’ she explains. ‘Then we had many health challenges with our daughter. She had extreme GI reflux and was severely ill, and we were getting conflicting advice from health professionals. I was going through a really tough time and was absolutely exhausted.’

Ultimately, Lyn felt that she knew what was best for her child in terms of treatment and followed that through, even though the doctors had recommended otherwise. Having the courage to face her doubts and take a stand for what she believed to be right, helped Lyn see the power of tapping into her natural intuition.

‘What helped me was being in touch with my instincts — that’s what stopped me from losing it,’ she says.

Mother power

Lyn warns that making choices that feel right as a mother can often be unpopular or against current opinion. Mums need to develop confidence around what they feel and sense, even if they don’t necessarily have logical proof for it.

‘A few years ago smacking was the norm and it would have been controversial to challenge it,’ she continues. I think we have to be careful of trends and what advice we listen to. I have seen so many mothers becoming frustrated by fear, self-doubt and guilt — making choices that they regret, doing one thing when their instincts are telling them other. ‘One friend had a child diagnosed with ADHD and he was going to be medicated. She disagreed and changed his diet and now he is absolutely fine — everyone is battling with the same things.’

Australian Parents October– November 2006, pp. 92, 93