Game Number: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
Game One
William: Who's your father, then?Verity: Benedict.
William: BENEDICT!? Allow me to be more subservient. During discussion about Jim's full name - Jim Eldorado:
Jim: I'm named after El Dorado. It's a family joke.
Paris: Hahaha. (Feigned laughter) During discussion about the newcomers to Amber:
Paris (to Fiona): Yes, the son of Caine, the son of Gerard, and the daughter of Benedict. Who would have thought?! Benedict! Mmmm. Paris: I get ready for dinner. It's long and involved process.
GM Jo (to William): And you think they (the Bourgeoisie) don't do any work! In relation to the Chronicle Log:
OOC William: This game log is going to be through a Marxist filter. Gerard: It's about my younger brother Random.
Jim: What kind of name is 'Random'?
OOC William: Says Jim Eldorado. OOC William: Hawaiian shirts are the shadow equivalent of Bley's evening attire. GM Jo: If Brand's standing quietly, you could easily not notice him. You can't not notice Bleys. Even if he's in the next room. GM Jo: Brand decides to help.
Jim: I'm going to like Brand. He's a nice guy. Jim: Who wants to be buddy-buddy with Bleys? I'm buddies with Brand, the nice guy of Amber!
Game Two
After Paris recovers from her fainting spell.Caine: Are you all right?
Paris: I foolishly took a deep breath to scream GM Jo: Dierdre smiles prettily at you.
Jim: I smile prettily back at her. I don't like her either. Dierdre doesn't want to be referred to as 'Aunt Dierdre':
Verity: I won't call her Aunt, then.
OOC William: Call her 'dry old hag'! William shows his skill in readying a horse for travel.
William: I tack it up, and then rub it down.
OOC Verity: Ummm... It should go - rub the horse down and then tack it up. It's like socks and then shoes.
William: Whatever. OOC Jim: I can just see it. When it's William's turn to choose his colours and his standard, it'll be a hammer and sickle crossed on a field of red.
OOC William: I shall dress in all red!
OOC Jim: Red and yellow! Red and yellow!
OOC William: Then I'd be competing with Bleys - he has red and orange!
OOC Jim: Only if you washed them together, and the colours ran. OOC Jim: I find it very disconcerting to hear of an elder called 'the boy'. Paris: But who would dare to attack a Prince of Amber!? On hearing about Paris' Macaw named Pallano:
OOC Jim: Oh my god! Pallano is a talking pet that can tell you what to do!! "What's that, Pallano? The children are in the well? Go talk to Julian?" OOC Paris (to William): If you draw a sword on me, and I shall draw breath and call Obie and tell on you!!
OOC Verity: No, you will draw breath and then faint. When servants insist on stabling Prince William's horse for him:
William: Alright. I'm not in the mood to fight.
OOC Jim: Good! I hit him! OOC Paris: Ha! That's LADY Paris!! You got corrected by a servant!!! What happens when OOC Paris snatches a bag of chips from DM Jo?
GM Jo (to Paris): Right! That's it! You die. Jim, William and Verity walk the Pattern without permission:
Jim: Man! Oberon is going to skin us alive!
William: No he's not, because I have Pattern! Dworkin: Ah, Paris! Isn't she just adorable?
William: Ah… Yes… Regarding William, the People's Champion:
OOC Paris: Wow! Successfully corrupted in just two games!!!
OOC Jim: Sellout!
OOC William: Hey! At least I have morals to sell out!
OOC Jim: I have morals! They're just a little different.
OOC William: You rob people's tombs!
OOC Jim: Says the thief! Paris and Dierdre making small-talk before dinner:
GM Jo: You both tune each other out and make polite inane conversation at each other. Things you'd like to say...
GM Jo: Deirdre stalks over to your group…
OOC Paris: I look at her. "Do you want something, Bitch Queen?" Brand attempts to rescue lady Paris from Bleys' neverending story:
Brand (to Bleys): (Laying a hand on Bleys' shoulder.) So are you ready to come upstairs *BLUSH* I, er, mean, that, um, that maybe the Lady Paris would like, um.. Er.. *BLUSH* OOC Jim: All we know of Eric is that he knows where to buy women's clothing. Lady Paris has a talk with her Daddy:
Paris: Perhaps you should have a holiday?
Dworkin: A holiday?
Paris: Yes, we could go and spend some time in Paris.
OOC GM Jo: No, no, I feel that you shall be needed here for plot reasons. OOC William: Hmm. I shall shut the door and stop the homosexual innuendo.
Game Three
Paris: I work on my Trumps for a bit, and then go to sleep. In the morning, I'm going to-GM Jo: Actually, you've just got into bed, when there's a knock on the door.
OOC Paris: But I've already written it in my DIARY! Paris: Prince Jim. Saying it doesn't seem so bad now. William meets Dierdre for the first time:
GM Jo: She gives you a seriously appraising look.
OOC William: I stare back and say, "Paint a portrait, it lasts longer!" Regarding Damon from the "Sleazy Looking Amber Game that is Possibly Very Cool":
OOC Paris: But he's the nice guy of Amber!
OOC William: He's taken over Gerards role. Well, Brand's role in this game. Would you believe he's picking a puppy?
OOC Jim: I pick the one that's all swirly!
OOC Jim: I am going to have this guy flogged! OOC Paris: Who are you going to stab, then? Bleys? Eric?
OOC William: Yes... I have Pattern.
OOC Paris: Riiiiight. GM Jo: Dierdre finishes talking at you and leaves.
Jim: I spend the next 5 minutes wondering what just happened. Again, after being talked at by Dierdre:
Paris (muttering): Tight-arsed little...
OOC Jim: Mmmmm... Tight arse... Jim learns about Amber:
Jim: I try my low-light goggles. Do they work?
GM Jo: No.
Jim: I try my flashlight. Does it work?
GM Jo: No.
Jim: I try my palm pilot. Does it work?
GM Jo: No.
Jim: I try my... (and on, and on, and on.) Jim: I put all my paperweights back in my bag.
Verity (to Paris): Well, perhaps a little blood-letting would improve your mood.
Exactly which path should the group take down Kolvir?OOC Jim: Take the Bleys express! The characters left early for the hunt, William riding Eric's horse, Drum.
William: I would love to know what's happening back at the castle.
Peanut Gallery (as Eric): What do you mean they left last night!? Where is my Horse?! After Paris' sleepless night:
OOC Verity: Oh my gosh! You might even have bags under your eyes! Gasp!
Paris (looking horrified): ELLA! Cucumbers! Caine gave Eric horse (Drum) to William.
Eric: What do you mean my horse is gone?! GM Jo: Caine looks as if he doesn't know what is going on.
Peanut gallery: Huge amount of laughter! DM Jo (to Paris): It's nice to see Bleys and Eric getting on so well. Verity: Why ride sidesaddle, when you can ride astride?
Paris: Astride? Astride! Do you know what will happen if you ride astride?
Verity: What will happen?
Paris: Why, your hymen will break!
Verity: So…
Paris: Well, you must have one for your wedding night.
Verity: Wedding night? Wedding night?!
Paris: You must let me tell you about the importance of bleeding on your wedding night.
OOC Jim (for Verity): Someone will be bleeding on my wedding night, and it won't be me! OOC Paris: On the outside, I am innocent and calm. On the inside, my inner player is doing the victory dance. Obie doesn't react furiously to bad news:
OOC Paris: I'm so glad I bought a devotee! Paris: Brand is such a sweetie. He wouldn't hurt a fly.
Game Four
Paris: So, I'm just lying on the air, and not falling?GM Jo: Yes.
Paris: (Pause) I stop screaming. Paris tries to use her Internal Trump Deck to trump her Daddy Dworkin:
GM Jo: You can't feel anything "trumpy" in your mind.
Paris: ! OOC Jim and Verity: Have you paid your trump bill? William is trapped in a giant crystal...
OOC Jim: You can't even get out!
OOC William: That is because I don't want to get out! Paris finds William trapped inside the crystal.
William (to Paris): I have found you!
OOC GM Jo: Says the man trapped inside the crystal.
Paris: Good! Get me out of here! And, he's still trapped.
Paris: So how are you, Prince William?
William: Can't complain… Jim (to Verity): You are a woman...
Peanut gallery: And I am a man... When the player knows more about using Pattern than the character does...
William: I keep walking. Gee, this fog is inconvenient, I wish it would go away. Paris (to William): Perhaps we should find somewhere to hide. I shall hide behind you! Paris: Shouldn't we be running away from the scream? I am seeing a flaw in your plan!
William: Hush! I'm being heroic! William is carrying Paris towards the source of the screaming.
Paris (to William): Oh my gosh! Put me down!
OOC Jim: Well, you're stupid, and you don't read good. After defeating the strange, shape-shifting creatures which looked a cross between giant rats and tigers.
Paris: What were those things?
William (confidently): Ratigers! Verity notices the numerous pockets on Jim's cargo pants:
Jim: I explain their marvellousness and handity. On discovering they're walking on nothing:
GM Jo (to Jim): Your hand passes below the level of your foot.
Verity: I am not comfortable with this! Jim discovers one of his spell-racking steel balls is gone:
Jim: Shit, I'm missing one of my…
Peanut gallery: One of your balls?
Jim (carefully): One of my magic Items. GM Jo: Prexactly! (precisely and exactly) Discussing the quotes so far, after a break:
GM Jo: Not bad for just two hours of game play!
OOC Paris: Well look how much we've done!
OOC Verity: Yes, we have found you and we are still lost.
OOC Paris: When you put it that way… William: Hey! I've been a prince my whole life! I just didn't know about it!
GM Jo: Brand has been a prince longer.
OOC Jim: He's a level ten prince!
OOC William: Well, I am a level five revolutionary! Paris: I pull out my ceremonial dining knife! William (to Verity): Cut off their heads, else they shall rise again!
OOC Jim: She's French! She has experience with cutting off heads! OOC Jim: I yell out at the top of my lungs, "They have greater than Amber warfare!" Discussing what armour everyone's wearing:
OOC Paris: I have five layers of petticoats, that must count for something! And the battle starts:
Verity: Damn, I wish I had my hat on! Paris: That's one thing I can do, basic first aid!
Verity: But where are the hot irons for the wounds?
Jim: If anyone comes at me with a hot iron, it had better be to iron my shirt! Verity guards the injured (Jim) and non-combatant (Paris) while the others go on.
Jim: Pick me up, and we can all go.
Paris: Pick me up, too!
OOC Verity: (in a bad French accent) 'Ello. What is a nice lady like you doing on a cliff like this? You are very pretty. Verity is eager for more fighting.
Verity: Maybe hundreds of Ratigers could come rushing out! Wait. That could be a bad thing. Verity: Well, there's only one dragon... OOC Jim: I conjure him a clue. OOC Verity: Oh, come on! There are two of you now! And only one dragon!
OOC William: Three, if you count Jim.
Jim has a sucking chest wound, a mutliated leg, and is charred and blistered after being attacked by a fire-breathing dragon. William: So, what are you going to do now then?
Verity: Well, if it has been 5 years, then I will actually have some clothes to wear! Jim: I say something suave that will get Verity away from Eric. I quote a line from Sean Connery movie. William sees 'freaky things' on his way down to the city:
OOC Verity: I am so glad I am going back to my room!
OOC Jim: Want me to wash your back?
OOC Verity: No. GM Jo: Caine un-smarms a bit and leans forward. Jim faints from loss of blood and hunger, and falls down the stairs:
GM Jo: They (the servants) part before someone.
Jim: Oh, please let it not be Eric! I'll even take Oberon!
GM Jo: It's Brand.
Everyone: Awwwww... (in that cute fluffy way)
Brand: What happened?
Jim: The stairs moved… Jim: I really suck as a fencer!
Gerard: You aren't that bad.
Jim: I had the shit kicked out of me! There was Brand (whirling dervish of death impersonation) and then there was Verity (whirling dervish of death impersonation) and there was me. Stab, stab, arrgggggggggh! William (about Eric): What is up with him? He's trying to oppress me! I will not be cowed! Paris, riding her horse Pallano, trots past Verity and William:
Pallano: See ya.
Verity: (with wide eyes) Did that horse... ?
William: (with wide eyes) Yes…
OOC Paris: He is so worth 28 points! Dooley: Two hundred Amber gold.
William: It's only worth sixty!
Dooley: Two hundred.
William: I'll give you one hundred.
Dooley: Two hundred.
William: You seem to be missing some of the key elements in the word "bargaining". Jim and Pallano (in Macaw form) have a small rivalry going:
Jim: So, is the feather duster the entertainment or lunch?
Jim: Great! I am going to end up in the infirmary after being savaged by the Parrot! Brand turns up with a small boy.
William: How old is he?
GM Jo: How good are you at guessing kid's ages?
William: Very good!I took a major in it while blacksmithing.
Peanut gallery: Twink!
Game Five
Jim (to William): Don't make me beat you up! 'Cause I can't. Jim: I'm going to meet Caine. At midnight. Does that strike anyone else as slightly bad?OOC William: Well, if you can't trust Caine… Whilst watching William fighting against a black tentacled slug monster:
OOC Jim: Wow! So THIS is what tactics looks like! William: I trump Caine!
Caine: Yes?
William: How unusual is it for giant slug monsters to attack people in the middle of Amber city?
Caine: (Raises an eyebrow) GM Jo: You hear -
Paris: No I don't! LA LA LA LA! GM Jo (to Verity): You've been stabbed in the throat.
OOC Paris: That's fucking harsh!
Verity: No, no that's cool. Well, actually... No, it is really harsh. Caine teaches Jim a little about fencing:
GM Jo: He stabs you through the shoulder.
Jim: Could you define "stab"?
Jim: And "through"?
Jim: The shoulder bit I understand. OOC William: Excuse me while I jump to some conclusions… GM Jo (to William): Oberon seems to be on his way to the infirmary.
OOC Jim: Oh, fuck! I would like to remind you that I would have left the infirmary well before HE arrives! GM Jo: Is it a 'gaggle' of infirmary staff?
OOC Paris: An 'epidemic' of infirmary staff! William: Verity was attacked by a large snake monster.
Caine: Really?
OOC William: Yes, I think that it was from a "Doctor Who" set.
Jim: What's happened, Lady Paris?
Paris: Well...
GM Jo: Someone's damaged her rose coloured glasses. Paris: And she (Dierdre) did carry me to the infirmary while I was bleeding to death. Which was very kind of her. Jim suddenly realises that if Paris trumps out of the room, it will leave him alone with a very, very angry Oberon:
OOC Jim: Don't trump back to your room! I am brave, and very strong! I could escort you up the stairs! Pleeease! I am excellent company! Don't leave me alone with him! Bleys gives Paris fencing lessons:
GM Jo: He gets you to practice parrying while he thrusts at you. OOC Paris: I get a nasty feeling I should have been listening to that!! William (excitedly): I'm a member of a cabal! I'm a member of a cabal! Small, out-of-breath pageboy: Prince Jim! Prince Jim!
OOC Jim: I'm going to start getting people to call me James!
Jim: What is it?
Small pageboy: King Oberon requests you presence in the dungeons immediately.
Jim: Arrrggggggh! Verity, Jim, and William all meet after being summoned to the dungeons by King Oberon:
Verity: Ahh, it is not just me then.
Jim and William: (unimpressed) Noooo. On arrival in the dungeons:
GM Jo: Oberon is in the room alone.
OOC William: We can take him!
Game Six
On realising that Paris and 'Obie' are about to have a confrontation:OOC Jim: I hide in the iron maiden… and I close the door. No one will find me in here. (pause) It's a little cramped in here guys! Eric compliments Verity's appearance, and then turns to speak to Jim:
Verity: What? Just one tasteful compliment? Wow! I shall flash Eric a smile to reward his good behaviour! Paris: I stand in my room and seethe. And then I stop when I remember that it creates wrinkles! Oberon asks Paris when she (and therefore the others) will be leaving for Hotaia:
Paris: I want to go now!
OOC Verity: Nooo! I have shopping to do!
OOC Jim: I'm buddying with Eric!
OOC William: I have cabal meetings to attend! Verity: So if I have a relationship with the Corwin of Tir Na Nogth, is it still wrong? GM Jo: Are you competing?
William: No, not really. I'm not really a competitive guy. Jim: I turn a corner and fall into step with Caine.
Peanut gallery: laughter.
GM Jo: Ahh, no... And, Eric performs Caine's usual trick...
GM Jo: Eric falls into step with you.
OOC William: Copyright violation! OOC Jim: One of my characters rode the unicorn once. It's a pain in the arse.
OOC Verity/William: You weren't doing it right! Paris: I stop dead!!
GM Jo: Alright, make up a new character.
Paris: What?! OOC Paris: Where are my glasses? I need my rose coloured glasses! Paris: Bad things can't happen if you don't move! If anything has happens to Paris, and they're caught, they're all going to be tortured by Oberon:
Williams: I shall go put my name on the iron maiden, then!
Jim: Dibs on the rack!
Verity: I do not intend to be caught at all! On meeting the Captain of the Naval ship they're to be travelling on:
Paris: If that's all right, Captain…?
Peanut Gallery: Ahab!
Peanut Gallery: Nemo!
GM Jo: Oh Fuck! (Realising that she hasn't gotten a name for the NPC.)
Peanut Gallery: Captain Oh Fuck!
GM Jo: Captain... Roberts!
OOC Paris: As in, the Dread Pirate?
GM Jo: (pause) Yes… Paris: William, do you think you could carry off being a prince?
Game Seven
William: I shoot the helmsman!GM Jo: You kill him.
OOC Jim: (distracted and not listening) You killed our helmsman?!
OOC William: (with an evil grin) Oh my god. We've been hit!
OOC Jim: Why did I cast so many spells? That's 4½ hours of rackery!
OOC Paris: It could have been 4 1/2 hours of fighting
OOC Verity: (excited) Yeah!!!!!
GM Jo (to William): You feel the power of the Pattern fill you.
OOC Paris: Stop encouraging him! You'll only make him worse!
William: I have Pattern! I have Power!
GM Jo: Don't worry, it'll be more fun to tear him down later.
OOC William: Fuck you!
Verity shifts Shadow to avoid a storm.
Navigator: It will be hard to find where we're going, if we don't know where we are.
Verity: Oh, dear.
Navigator: You do know where we are?
Verity: (confidently) We are several shadows from where we were.
Verity (to Captain Roberts): We seem to have gone through several shadows to escape the storm.
Captain: WHAT?
Verity: (patiently) We seem to have gone through several shadows to escape the storm.
Verity (about Paris): That is the second time that she has called me "prince"!
Jim: That is because sword fighting is a manly occupation!
Verity: Well, what does that make you then?
Paris is in William's cabin when Jim knocks on the door:
Paris: I open the door and let him in. I have seen Ella do this, I know how it works.
Paris: I thought that we should all meet in William's room so that we can get used to treating him as if he was the leader.
Okilani: Please make yourself at home.
OOC William: Very well, then! I take off my pants.
Verity acts as translator between Paris and the Natives:
Paris: Phrase it any way you like.
Verity: Oh, I will be!
William: I don't care if I'm not the big hero!
OOC Paris: Hey! Hey! I AM a Princess of Amber you know!
Peanut gallery: No you aren't!
OOC Paris: Oh… Yeah…
OOC Paris: The point is that we are Amber Royalty! Well, I'm not… But I might be one day!!!
OOC Jim: Hello, my name is Paris, I shall be the person insulting you tonight…
OOC Jim: I am SO going to oppress you so you know how it feels.
OOC William: I KNOW how it feels!!!!
OOC Jim: No you don't!
OOC William: I've read about it!